Chapter Twenty-five

Tris gets a tattoo of Abnegation on her shoulder because she feels it's a part of her past and her identity; she wants to show it on her skin to always remind her where she came from. I feel like I would do something like that too, but maybe that's just something anyone feels like they have to do...

Will and Cristina have been slightly more affectionate lately. They're sharing like "comforting touches" and spending a lot of time together. Maybe they have a little thing going? I thought it was really weird how I think, Ali thought or wanted Tris and Will to have a thing. I think that Uriah and Tris should have a thing! Even though I am all for Four and Tris being together, there's just something about her and Uriah that makes them seem like they'd be a good couple. Now I've learned that they're leaving Uriah out of the whole movie, which is ridiculous! It's like how the Hunger Games left out Madge! That made me so angry.

Now they're trying to introduce her in the second  movie, but it's too late!

Tris "sneaks up" on Four even though he knew she was going to follow? Then he lets her go into his fear landscape with him. Of course his first fear is heights, which we already know. Then the second fear is Claustrophobia and they are trapped in a small box for a very long time. This fear is caused by a childhood punishment that Four suffered a lot. This allows them to like sit on top of each other and Tris tries calming him down, but eventually, they make it out. The next fear is having to shoot some older women from Abnegation. For the finale, his final fear is Marcus, the leader of Abnegation. In this simulation there are tens of Marcus's and they are all crowding around Four trying to whip him with a belt, his voice keeps repeating, "It's for your own good, son." Then I realize that he is the transfer from Abnegation three years ago. He was in Abnegation and that's why he avoids them all the time! I know it was probably obvious to some readers from the beginning that he would be Tobias, but this was like a mind = blown, for me! I did this little freakout moment where I had to tell everyone in my house what was going on, even though they had no idea what I was talking about.(: And then I remember..

Marcus was abusing Tobias and that's why he left Abnegation, the Erudite were right about one thing. Before   Marcus is about to whip Tobias, Tris steps in front of Four and protects him from the blow. Then, soon after, the scene turns back to normal and they are no longer in Four's fear landscape.

He's kissing her cheek and hugging her tightly. Then he says that she was the reason she got through it, which is the most adorable thing ever. Awww, they're just so cute!(:

"I feel like there is something I should say, but I am too stunned and can't come up with any words."

Chapter Twenty-four

The next day, Tris is abruptly awoken by Cristina and they are all rushed out to the Pit. It was shown that Al had thrown himself over the chasm. People were commenting and talking about how this happens to one initiate every year; like they're practically used to it! So that means that once, every year, someone in Dauntless decides to end their life or one of the Dauntless leaders decides to end their lives for them... Suicide is something that people should never be used to. It is always awful when a person decides to take their own life. I'm not here to preach my decision on it or talk about my personal experiences but I just know that going through that on a regular bases, like the people in Dauntless, will eventually become desensitized. This is where it becomes dangerous, because the fact that they are celebrating suicide, makes it more likely that people will do it. I agree with Tris in the fact that it isn't right to encourage people to act that way. They should take it seriously and try to reduce the effects in their factions.

Don't be afraid to help.

When we were talking in class about whether a brave person never gives up, or if a brave person recognizes the strengths of others, I feel like the subject of Al killing himself ties into this. Although I do believe that a brave person never gives up, I don't think that backing out of one fight is giving up; I see it as giving yourself a time to improve and become stronger enough to be able to win in another aspect, later on. In some way, I also feel as if Al gave up. I am not here to judge, and I try to respect the choices of others no matter what, but in a sense; Al gave up. He decided that he couldn't fight anymore and I don't believe that that's brave, I think that it was cowardice.

Tris leaves because she can't handle the celebrating and Four follows her. She says that this would have never happened in Abnegation, like she'd rather be there. Four warns her and tells her that they're watching her in particular. That would put so much pressure on me if I was told that! I would screw up even more knowing that eyes are one me!

He also explains that peoples intentions is all that the Dauntless care about. She starts talking about how he's mean to her and he explains that it's only because he wants to see that flare in her; he wants to push her. This results in an actual hug and after she cries about Al's death being her fault, he gives her a kiss on the head!!!!(:

"No, was. That was death-shifting from "is" to "was.""

Chapter Twenty-three

Tris stays the rest of the night sleeping in Four's bed while he sleeps on the ground. In this statement she's referring to fours pillow.

"It smells like detergent and something heavy, sweet, and distinctly male."

Hahahah. Who goes around talking like that? I understand that guy smell is like the best thing ever but you never just be like, " This smells male and this, over here, smells female."

When she wakes up, she goes to breakfast like nothing happened, though when she tells Uriah, Will, and Cristina about the night she tries to make herself sound scared. This shows Peter that she has weaknesses and can get hurt still, making her look like she isn't any better than him. This assures he won't attack her again. Drew walks into the room and it isn't fair to say that he got a punch to the face, he isn't even recognizable! Go Four!

I started thinking about in the Twilight movies with the whole "Team Edward" vs. "Team Jacob" except in a different matter with "Team Tris" and "Team Peter." When Peter tried convincing Will and Cristina that Tris was manipulating them, they believed him and so at that moment they were team Peter. Now, that they know Al was one of her attackers, they know their fight was petty and that Tris is still weak. They are team Tris again!  And now Al, the person who didn't believe Peter about the manipulating, now tried to to kill her? Team Peter, I'm guessing?

They are entering stage three of initiation which is weighted more than one or two. This involves your "Fear Landscape" where you face the fears from the emotional stage, except this time you know it's a simulation. You are able to control your actions physically and you won't know how many fears you have until the day you go through it. When Four is explaining all of this he calls out Peter about his attack last night and announces that he's scared of a little girl from Abnegation. Tris and I both thought that it was very funny.

Later, when they walk back into the dorms, Al is sitting on his bead, hands covering his face. He begs Tris for forgiveness. Although, Tris originally though she would forgive him.... she can't. She tells him to never talk to her again and leaves the room. Al completely sobs while she leaves.

"Somewhere inside me is a merciful, forgiving person. Somewhere there is a girl who tries to understand what people are going through, who accepts that people do evil things and that desperation leads them to darker places than they ever imagined. I swear she exists..."

Chapter Twenty-Two

After Four startled the attacking, Al and Peter ran away like little *&%#$'s. But I can' actually say that because it's a school blog(: At least one of them got caught. Four beat the living crap out of Drew which is funny because it probably wasn't even Drew's idea in the first place, he just got to deal with all the consequences.

Four saves Tris and takes her back to his apartment. (For Ali and Olivia... "errr eee!") He lays her down on the floor and she "takes a risk" and reaches up to touch his bleeding face but he just shakes it off and says it's nothing compared to her. He then reaches down and strokes her face and I thought, 'Why does my life suck?' But then I remembered... she just got attack, molested, and almost thrown into a river. Yupp, I'm perfectly fine with my life again.

I predicted that he was going to try and report them and he gets all protective and tense when she explains that they "touched her." Then she explains that it wasn't like he was thinking, but almost. He tells her that the next chance she gets, ruin them.

Then when he's getting up to leave she says, "Thank you, Four." And he tells her not to call him that anymore, he says not to call him anything..yet.

"What do I have to lose? I ask myself."

Chapter Twenty-one

"Tonight though, I want to be alone. More than that. I want to remember why I came here, and why I was so determined to stay here."

This quote describes my whole life. Most the time I go on auto-pilot and I wind up forgetting what's most important to me and why I wanted it in the first place. I think I go on auto-pilot as a defense mechanism in order to push through "difficult" times, so in other words, stress. I often end up forgetting my morals and my goals and have to re-teach them to myself on a regular basis.

This mask represents my shield to the world. 

Tris misses family so much that it's causing her to chew through her nail-beds. She wishes she didn't have to face all this emotional stuff alone. Four never misses his family though, he wanted to leave them. 

Tris is wondering why she out of all people is remaining strong, while everyone around her is falling apart. I can see how that would be frustrating, but seriously? You're wishing to be a mess? Be happy that you can still function properly...

The ranks are posted and she gets ranked number one....obviously she isn't listening to her mother's instructions at all! She's at the very top of the list and then a GIANT gap, then everyone else, Including Peter. You don't think that that will make Peter angry? Well it did.

First, Peter tries to get Will, Cristina, and Al to think that she is manipulating them by saying that she is trying to look small and selfless, but then doing really good. For a moment they actually believe him and storm out of the room. It shocks me how Will, previous Erudite, wouldn't add the facts up to know that Tris isn't purposely manipulating them. While half of Tris's friends are angry at her, Uriah and Marlene are super supportive of her high rank.

Later, when she's talking to Four, she decides to take a risk and hold his hand after he says she belongs here. She also figured out that Four believes in ordinary acts of bravery. She tries going to sleep but wants to go get a drink of water. While there, she hears a very distinct voice talking to Eric about "Divergent Rebels," that's when someone grabs her from behind and blindfolds her.

They beat her repeatedly and hold her arms and legs, so she's left defenseless. It's three against one and they are taking her to the metal railing, overlooking the river. They are planning to kill her. She thrashes but can't scream because there's a hand over her mouth. They bang her head on the floor repeatedly and lift her up, over the railing. That's when she hears Drew and Peter's voice, making fun of her body. They are feeling her and saying something about feeling like a twelve year old instead of a sixteen year old. That's when she hears another voice, Al, telling them to stop touching her. They are about to push her over when she hears someone yelling, then the boys drop her and take off running. All she remembers seeing is Four's face. 

Chapter Twenty

I think it's weird how I just said my fear would be drowning and now she's in a glass box doing the same thing. She scans the crowd of people watching ans see's Wills face. She knows there's something he said that will help her. That's when she realizes it's all in her head and she kicks the glass and breaks it completely. She wakes up in record time and Four looks completely shocked.

Lucid dreaming is when a person is in a dream, but they know that they are in a dream. This relates closely to the simulations. If you consciously know that you're just in a simulation, you have the ability to defeat the simulation, which could be considered "dangerous." That is one reason why Divergent is Dangerous.

Four is furious and has to delete the footage in order to protect her. He warns her that she has to find a way to cover it up during the simulations. How does Four know about being Divergent and how to control it? Is Four Divergent? *hint*

Tris is very confused and goes to talk to Tori about it because she feels she is the only person that will tell her anything. Tori informs her that if they figure out that she's Divergent, they will kill her. She kind of has proof because they did the same to Tori's brother. They killed him and then made it look like a suicide, the day before initiation. Tori informs Tris that being Divergent means that you control the simulations and that they are not scared of what you are, they care about your motivations. Also, only two kinds of people know about being Divergent.
1. The people who want you dead.
2. The people that have experienced it themselves.

"Changing the simulation isn't what they care about; it's just a symptom of something else. Something they do care about."

Chapter Nineteen

Erudite is proceeding to attack Abnegation leaders and this time it happens to be Tris's dad. Tris becomes furious that people are trying to humiliate her and almost gets in a fight with Peter, who is consistently reading. Will throws Tris over his shoulder and carries her out of the room. She seemed too attached with her family and that scares the Dauntless members because 'faction before blood.'

I predict that one of my fears is drowning, just because drowning seems like a lack of control and I usually like to be in control and be in order. Drowning just seems like something that everyone is slightly scared of; even if you are a good swimmer. That would be an awful way to die.

Will is beginning to notice Fours interest in Tris and he starts looking at her funny, but doesn't figure out anything about their love for each other.

"But the simulation is all in your head, so even though you feel like someone is doing it to you, it's just you, doing it to yourself."